Author Archives: michellelloyd

What a difference a year makes!

One year ago today, November 12th, Jon and I were driving a 26′ truck with everything we owned packed inside, followed by our personal vehicle with 2 dogs in tow. We moved to Cedar Falls, IA that day. We pulled into the driveway, at exactly midnight, of a house we had never seen before, that we were calling our new home. We were a little apprehensive, but excited and grateful for a house to call our own to live in.

The next day, our task was to unload our belongings and start making the house our home. Jon started at Prairie Lakes Church just 2 days later and I was left with the task of “setting up house”. I was lonely and wondered what the heck we were doing in Iowa by ourselves! We didn’t know anybody and the holidays came and went and we were stuck by ourselves with nobody to celebrate with but each other. And it was stinkin’ cold!

Well, a year later I think about what it would be like if we weren’t in Iowa right now. God has provided for us beyond our expectations. He has blessed us with a house to live in, a church to be a part of, jobs that we are both absolutely passionate about and love doing, and friends that we consider family.

It’s been a year for us to rely, not on ourselves, but God alone! He is the one that guides our steps and our every days. I am just so grateful that even though I would not of thought Jon and I should move to Iowa that He did and we are.

Thank you Lord for bringing us to Cedar Falls, IA. We are so grateful, hopeful and ask that we would be able to bring a child into our home soon.

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My thoughts

The last 2 weeks have been pretty rough for me. Jon and I have been on the journey of adopting a child. We have really felt like our time is now and God has made a way for us. We have been in the midst of filling out paperwork and fundraisers for almost a year now. We have been so blessed by all the support along the way.

As October came, we realized that we had not heard from our agency in awhile, but my take was, they will call or email if they have an opportunity. I didn’t really care to hear or read, “we don’t have any for you right now, sorry!”. We do not get real excited, at least anticipate, when our profile is presented to birth moms.

Well, last Monday I got a call from a friend that is a lawyer here in Waterloo and she said they had a mom who was due October 18th and if we are interested, it is ours to turn down. I hung up the phone and went into scurry mode. We put money towards it and got excited. However, our hearts are pretty guarded and at arms length of total excitement. We have been through disappointment before, and we don’t really enjoy it.

To make a long story short, within 24 hours, that opportunity was no longer an option for us. It was a heartbreaker for us, and the day before we were on our way to AZ for a fundraiser. I was ready to call it quits and give up. I am tired of hearing, its all part of God’s plan and it will happen soon. I just felt like I didn’t want it to be part of my plan at all anymore. I didn’t really believe that, but it’s easier for me to say that and keep walking on without more explanation. I feel sad when I see moms holding their child, pregnant with their future child, or just being a mom. I just want that to be me, and the more days that go by, the more bleak my hope is that it is going to happen.

The thing that I want more than anything right now is to be a mom. I have started to face the fact that just because I want this and pray for this daily, does not mean that God wants this for me right now. It is difficult to understand why and how come and say it’s not fair, but as I sang the words, “I’ll stand with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all” it was evident to me that I have to repeatedly surrender MYSELF to Him. It does not matter what I want, but what God wants to do with and through me. I struggle with this, and wish I was there, but I am not. My prayer is that it will be less about ME ,and more about Him as we continue on the journey.

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Next Steps

I am praying for guidance in knowing what my next steps are. I am currently working as a receptionist, which I really enjoy. However, lately I have been feeling The Lord telling me to get back into work with children. I do not know in what capacity, but I am just wanting to be obedient and do what the Lord wants me to do. Please pray that a door will open and I will know what the Lord wants me to do.

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A reminder to pray…

When you see the magnet please use it as a reminder to pray for us. Some days we are UP and some days we feel down. We are $620 away from having our $3,000 fee. We are encouraged by so many of you each day and we could use as many prayers as possible. Thank you thank you thank you to all of you friends! A child’s life will be changed forever because of you!

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“Happy Mothers Day”

Another year of “Happy Mother’s Day” being said to me. I just let it be said to me. I know the people mean well, and they see Jon and I walking together and just suppose that I am a mother. After all, we have been married for 8 1/2 years and we look “old enough” to be called “mommy” and “daddy”. But, we pass by yet another Sunday, that is marked “Mother’s Day” and I do not have the privilege of being called “mommy”. It is a difficult concept for me to understand why I have not had the chance to have another human call me mommy. I have always known that I wanted kids, lots of them for that matter, and I still do not have any, or one, for that matter. I know that God has HIS perfect timing for us and we pray everyday that it will be soon, VERY SOON! Hopefully, next year when they say, “Happy Mother’s Day” it will be true of me, and I will be able to smile instead of the sadness that I feel now. AND Happy Mothers Day to all of you that are mothers! and a special prayer/comfort for those that are still waiting.

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Overwhelmed

Today it was back to work after being off 3 days to attend Jon’s grandpa’s funeral.  The trip went well and it was a great time of celebrating his life.  We were overwhelmingly blessed by being given his grandpa’s car. The cool thing to this story is that Jon and I have only had one vehicle for the past 4 years- to the exact date!  We sold our second vehicle April 13, 2006 and were given a 1998 Ford Taurus on April 13, 2010. God knew our desires and provided in a way that only HE can!  Then, today I am feeling overwhelmed by our adoption process.  Our next step is to pay our agency activation fee, which is $3000.  It seems like a daunting amount and it’s not even the largest amount yet.  I am just feeling discouraged that money has to be the reason why we can’t be matched with a birthmother yet.  This morning as I was reading the verse, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer, and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” [Phil 4:6] I was reminded that the Lord is in control and just as He provided a second vehicle He will provide the money that we need to move forward in our adoption process.

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“It’s a Beautiful Place”

written by David Lloyd- Jon’s dad- about Jon’s grandpa’s last moments on earth:

Last week my father-in-law died and went to Heaven.  He loved Jesus Christ and knew Him as his Savior.  For sixty some years he served Him faithfully.  Before my father-in-law passed from this life, however, he had an incredible experience where God seemed to draw back the veil from this life, and let him see a glimpse into eternity.  As he was dying, he suddenly lifted his eyes upward and began to exclaim, “It’s a beautiful place!  It’s a beautiful place!  Oh, boy!  Wow!  It’s a beautiful place!  Wow!”  This went on for nearly an hour.  My brother-in-law, Mo Hodge, was present with his father as he was dying and caught these moments on video.  We are all certain that God gave this faithful servant of His ‘dying grace’ as he was preparing to leave this life.

By the next morning, my father-in-law’s breathing was very shallow.  Mo would bend over and speak into his ear, but his Dad did not give any indication that he was there with him.  Before my father-in-law passed, he closed his eyes and two big tears rolled down his cheeks.  He then took his final breath and awakened in the arms of Jesus!  This experience was truly a great blessing and comfort to the family.  Jesus promises us, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you.  Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful” (John 14:27). My wife’s Dad surely had this peace when he left this life, and embraced his new life in glory!

Have you received Jesus Christ as your Savior?  You can, right now.  Ask Him to come into your life, forgive you of your sins, and make you a new person.  Knowing Christ brings eternal life!  When you are ready to die, then you can truly live!

“Eye has not seen and ear has not heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him.”    1 Corinthians 2:9


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